Monday, October 14, 2013

Wedding contract in Islam

Wedding date: 13th October 2013

Beautiful Aishah, a 19 year old bride

Aishah, my 19 year old niece, wedded her course mate over the weekend. Her wedding came as surprised to us all. We never thought that she, among all nieces of her age would settle down before others slightly older than her. It was however, a truly blessed and smooth ceremony. 

The wedding in progress witnessed by friends and family

The simple ceremony turned out to be a proper and real wedding party as the invited guests exceeded from its original list. Both bride and groom's friends (3rd year from Architecture School and ex-school mates) mostly attended. 2 of their lecturer were at the wedding too, beside family members of both party. God bless, everything went perfect and the food suffice for everyone. 

Aishah & Izrin, young at love

It was 4 months before that Aishah broke the news to our family about Izrin's proposal after he sought consent from his family. As both of them are still studying Architecture and far from completing their 4 years Bachelor Degree, the family concurred for the contract marriage to permit the 2 love birds to pursue their studies in the same class while keeping and nourish their love toward each other with the bless of Islam rule.

It was supposed to be "Khitba", a promise and/or a contract for marriage by getting engage but none of the contracting party are allowed to break the contract for someone else. This is what the scholar say about khitba, "A marriage proposal is what takes place when one person asks another person to marry them. It can be either explicit or implicit. An explicit proposal is when words are used which can only mean marriage, such as when a man says to a woman, “I want to marry you,” or when a man says to a woman whose husband has divorced her or is widowed and who is still in her waiting-period, “When your waiting-period ends, I will marry you,” and similar statements."

The couple had entered into a solid agreement with their parents that they will not have any sexual contacts, except for touching each other and to the extent of kissing. After the wedding, both of them are separated and continue their life as before. They will only reunite as a proper wedded couple once both had finish their studies, in about 2 and a half years plus a year later given a time for Izrin and Aishah to work before pursuing the Master Degree abroad. That was an agreed condition.

Syahirah and the wedded couple

In the event that the couple would not able to hold on to the set condition, both of them should be able to face marriage responsibility on their own as parents would not support financially on the responsibility as husband and wife. However, the ceremony was a real success though you felt like you attended a school children wedding. Izrin, a tahfiz student is indeed a good boy, no doubt that Aishah a lucky girl to win his heart, likewise.

Aishah is my sister's, Rosnani 3rd daughter @ number 6 in the family. This is the 4th wedding in her family, leaving the other 4 to settled down. I love all my nieces and nephews equally. Majority of Aishah's cousin came to help and support the wedding preparation. Everyone in the family takes an opportunity for event like this to reunite and gather. My other sister helped in preparation for the food.   

The last photo for this entry is Aishah with her in-law, from a decent and good family. May their marriage and life be a blissful journey. 

Lastly, I wish to share few Quranic verses and Prophet's Hadith regarding marriage at early age:

Allaah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’aala) commands the believers to marry and help those under their charge to marry as well. He says in Surat An-Nur (24:32):

وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

“Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allaah will enrich them from His favors. Allaah is Bountiful and Knowing.”
Also, Allaah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) commanded the young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford marriage to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desires. Ibn Mas’ud (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhum) reported, “We were with the Prophet (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said, Young men, let him who can afford marriage marry, for it helps lower the gaze and guard the private parts (i.e., preserve the chastity) and let him who cannot afford it fast, for fasting is a repression (of desire) for him.’” [Al-Bukhaari, Muslim, and others.]
And ‘Uthmaan (Radia-Allaahu ‘anhu) reported that Allaah’s Messenger (Salla-Allaahu alaihi wa sallam) said,“Anyone among you who has resources should get married because it helps lower the (lustful) look and guard the private parts (i.e. chastity) and whoever does not (have wealth) should fast, because fasting is a restraint (of desire) for him.” [Recorded by an-Nasa'i. Verified to be authentic by al-Albaani (Saheeh al-Jami' no 6498)]
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