Dear beloved Maznah, this would be my last entry writing down our memoirs. In case in the future I might have memory loss though Sudoku and me is inseparable, I would still be able to refresh our memory by visiting this page that I created. Rest assured that I will never ever leave my thoughts of you. I will always remember you in my prayer. Today, there's few updates on Instagram about another leukemia patients died. She was one of a quite famous blogger, Ami Schaheera, an Engineer turned Journalist/Stylist. She was battling with the cancer since 4 years ago. Just like you were, she did enjoyed her life's to the fullest until God had decided to take her away. Just to update you, a lot of sad incidents happened in Malaysia which saddened the whole nation with the missing MH370 on 8th March 2014 and 6 teenagers died due to overdose drugs in a concert. Blessing with the unfortunate events, the media has slowed a lot of their entertainment activities. The Malaysians are now focusing their attention to the search and towards seeking Allah's guidance for the series of unfortunate incidents.
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| Warded in style on 25th August 2012 |
Looking down the memory lane, you were admitted to DEMC due to prolong fever right after eid celebration in August 2012. I was busy with eid, hence, did not even called you during that trip back home. I saw your status in FB and the above photo. On 27th August, DEMC has transferred you to Pantai Medical Hospital. I was on the plane to Hyderabad from KLIA when Fikri texts me that you were diagnosed with Leukemia, critical stage, stage 4. It was on 28th of August 2012. You were in the ICU, I was devastated.
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| With God's willing, the medical team saved her on the first trial, given her times to see beautiful world |
Fikri sounded worried when I called him the next day. We agreed that we should spoke to you in a very positive state, giving you encouragement and hopes. Therefore, on 29th August 2012, I managed to calm myself and wrote this to you “Babe, I safely landed last night but very much regretful did not pay you a visit. I will send my delegation soonest to cheer you up. I'll take you shopping till drop on my next trip home, ok! So, you better make sure to have shopping list and looking gorgeous as always :) love you so much babe!”. The following day, I wrote again on your wall “Today is your 6th day in the hospital. I hope you shall apply natural oil, olive or badam or moisturisers to moist your skin as hospital rooms is very dry due to AC's. Don't forget to massage all your toes & foot before you put your socks on. Plus, you can meditate (zikr) while doing yoga post to calm your nerves & minds. Put lots of smile while doing it so He (Allah) knows your sincerity just like you put lots of love while cooking :) Stay vogue @ of same post as your picture on 25th August at DEMC ok! Miss u a lot babe!”.
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| Always in cheerful state, reflecting her good hearts |
On 31st August, day 7 I shared another post on your wall: beautiful quote by Harriet Tubman "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to fight".. I didn't even know who is Harriet Tubman, hehe! anyway pray for your speedy recovery and early discharge. take care, xoxo ♥ ♥ ♥. I was relieved when Fikri informed me that you have overcome the critical period of your life. On 7th September 2012, you proceeded with the first chemo.
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| Loving couple, Fikri & Maznah |
When I was demobilised back to HQ, you invited me for lunch at your place. It was on 9th December 2012, you cooked my favorite beef soup. What was noticeable was your skin turned dark as chemo has killed all cancerous cell in your body. You looks perfectly normal. Soon after, you were warded again for your second chemo. Schamil entered school on the following month but in February 2013 you have continued your 3rd chemo and the 4th chemo was in May 2013. I saw you truly in a happy states with your surrounded friends and families. I did not visited you, I was saddened by the facts. Nevertheless, not even once that had any negative feelings about it. We were correspond someways, knowing we love and cares for each others. I was feeling okay with it.
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| Who would expect? Seeing how happy she was on 25th Jan 2014?? |
Leukemia is a disease of the blood where the white blood cells due to some problem started attacking the red blood cell. The older method is by bone marrow transfer wherein a donor's bone marrow is implanted to her bone marrow after all the original bone marrow has been removed. The newer option is by stem cells treatment. The stem cells will have to be donated by a donor (same as bone marrow transfer) which can match the patient. Once the donor is found, the donor will have to take a 5 course of filbrastin injection to speed up the formation on the stem cells so that after a week, the stem cells can be harvested from the donor. After each treatment, she should not be in contact with too many people as her immune system was low and if she catches some other ailment, she will have complication. She will require regular blood transfusion pending a suitable donor for either bone marrow or stem cells. The blood transfusion will enrich her body with red blood cells but it is only a temporary treatment as her WBC will continue to attack the RBC. Thus, the hospital will need sufficient suitable stock of blood to replenish for her.
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| It was time, Schamil has become very dependent |
I was wrong, I was misled by judging her happiness from her social media, I thought she was fully recovered. It was a lapse. She was by that time, too tired with the chemo, she was ready to see Allah. She has made sufficient preparation. Fikri and Schamil were both by her sides, supported her. Her last photo shared was on 10th February 2014 (below) and 6 days after she was very quite with her illness. I will always see you in this state of mind. Farewell my love, today is your 39th days. I will spend times for you tonight. I love you so much, rest in peace my dear.
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| 6 days before her farewell |
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