Naim is the 3rd children, our son no. 2. He came into this world without plan as Allah has better plan for us all. When my menstrual was delayed, hubby and I were in a panicked state. Based on my friend suggestion, I swallowed panadol pills with cokes can drink, praying that the routine will come soon. On the second week with no sign of menstrual and after much deliberation between us, we decided to consult the doctor.
Doctor had confirmed our pregnancy. Later, we honestly told the doctor that we were not ready for another child as the existing 2 were too much for us to handle, physically and financially. The third reason was due to hubby's routine as an auditor. He was always on the move for his auditing works, only home for 6 months in a year. It was tough for me when maids usually a non reliable. But the Doctor firmly told us that he will not going to do "that" (no abortion mention) nor given any pill to harm the fetus as it was a big sin. Yes it is, we knew that but hearing the lecture from him that day saddened us more.
We sought forgiveness and started accepting the reality that it was a gift from Allah to test us. When it was time to deliver the cutest baby boy in the whole universe, we both wept in tears. It was an emotional moment for a sinful intention we had over this little boy of not wanting him at the. Who are we to say that? He merely came through us as it is fated that he will be born by us. May Allah forgive our sin.
Alhamdulillah, when he was born, there's nothing wrong physically with him though later during teenage years, he had given us so much headache. Having 4 children's made us realised that each one differs a lot from another in terms of their character though they were from the same womb. Only Syahirah and Naim were having a hard teenage years life but the other 2 grow up normally without any. I had to read a book "Don't Stop Loving Me" in dealing with all the headache Syahirah has given me, but somehow, she naturally change. The same happened in Naim's case.
|Still on confinement stage, 1 month|
Naim has the sweetest smile and a polite attitude. We have not come across any case that anybody dislike him. Family and friends always praise him for being so nice as he treated everyone equally. Till now he always share with me stories (until I told him to stop) of how he pity those unfortunate people, hoping that I'll took pity also and willing to help them financially. There was 1 time I saw him giving money to a stranger (an adult) when that jobless guy asked. His reasoning was very simple yet touching "Mama, that man said he has not eaten the whole day, though I know that I have less money too but I took pity on him". Judging his character so far, he, no doubt, inherited that from my husband, who, numerous times invited stranger (rather beggar) into the house, giving them drinks, sometimes food.
Naim was the easiest baby to take care. He loves my milk and grew up so big from my milk. I had to be cruel to Nazhif though he sometimes wanted the same milk too. It was tough to breast feed 2 babies at the same time. Islam encourage 2 years of breast feeding but in Nazhif case, was less than 18 months. But Nazhif adored his baby brother more than anything else. He chose to sleep next to him and if not watched properly will try lifting his brother like a big guy.
Syahirah on the other hand treated Naim like a baby doll, her own human doll. At that point of time, hubby bought her a doll so that she too could possessed a baby. That doll came with a a magic feeding bottle. She was very passionately feeding both babies (Naim & the doll) as if she was the most luckiest mother having 2 babies to look after. To be very honest, having 3 of small kids in 1995 was a miserable state of mind. I had to balance and sacrifice a lot of thing being a working mother at the same time was struggling, was a misery.
Back to Naim, he started smoking when he was in secondary school, form 3, aged 13 years old. I came to know about it a year later when I checked his hand phone. We immediately arranged him to be with me in Karachi so that I can watch over him. Later on we had no choice but had accepted his smoking habit but sternly advised him that he has to use his allowances for it. It gave a big burden for him to manage so little money for food and cigarette. Finally he came to me for help, he decided to quit. It was not easy thing to quit once a person are addicted smokers.
Only last year, in 2013 he is declared as a non-smoker after a strong determination, returning home from National Service. We were all so very proud as good things happened when it decided to happen. Naim used to tell his father that "Papa, please stop smoking, I don't want you to die" after he watched a TV programme about smokers. That time he was still very very young. May he will not repeated a bad habit again in the future. The same thing we did to know his circle of friends. We, as a parent should know who and where he hang out with. Loves and attentions are 2 main ingredients to protect your children from going a wrong way.
Naim has been loved by my late parent so much. When he was about 5 years old, we left him under my late parents guardian for few months after much persuasion from my late mother. Under the care, it was the only time that we saw Naim eats properly while being playful with natures in the village. How I missed those days. If only time can be return back, there's so many things I wishes to revise. Sigh.