The story of my Repentance

Human is indeed had a really weird character. I would say I'm the  weirdest among all. Quran had in many places warned about the weird people that will come by and plant some evil talks and thoughts so that you will end up with an evil mind. Therefore, Allah has created a special "doa" or prayer should you encountered one. But the best would still made a routine of reciting these prayers so that you wouldn't fall into that weird categories. Trust me, I was there before, the expert ... hence this advice. And this is the story of my repentance....

Happiest mode for feeling the bless

Repentance or taubat is a life transformation process where its very nature requires one not just to abandon the old ways of sinful behavior. Instead repentance requires us to replace those with righteous deeds. Turning to Allah in repentance, therefore, is a truly transformational process. Allah says in the Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 160: “Except those who repent and do righteous deeds, and openly declare (the truth which they concealed). These, I will accept their repentance. And I am the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful.” and in Surah An-Noor, verse 31 Allah says “…And beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful".

At former home before leaving to the airport

Repentance, therefore, paves the way for Allah’s Grace in this life and the hereafter. Within this world, Allah promises us of wealth, children, and increased blessings. In the Quran, Surah Hud, verse 3 Allah again says: “Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance, that He may grant you good enjoyment, for a term appointed, and bestow His abounding Grace to every owner of grace. But if you turn away, then I fear for you the torment of a Great Day (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)”.

While waiting for me to check-in

Allah has granted a beautiful lights into my heart after my return from India for good in 2012. He gave me a mirror to look at my self. I looked and looked so hard with so many weird question to begin with ... "why people did that to me", "why people are so cruel with devilish talks and remarks?" so on and so forth. The answers that came after was unimaginable so soothing to my heart. Allah whispers to me "You change first" then people around you will change along with you. Set a good example, purify your heart but start by firstly forgive yourself before forgiving others. Do not search the whole horizon for peace as peace is so near, it's in you.

With that, I set 2 targets for assurance that my repentance is accepted by Allah and He shall guide me (and all of you of course) to the straight path, the path of those upon whom Allah have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked Allah's anger or those who are astray (Quran, the first surah, Al-Fatiha verse 6-7). The first target is to perform umrah. The time for umrah that I chose was during the last 10 days of Ramadhan (fasting month), 1437 Hijrah year @ in June 2016.

Family is the one who stays in rainy and sunny days, non-stop cheering on you though on your cranky days..

Why do I chose those last 10 days? It's because I want to be in the Holy city for Laylatul Qadr, a night that I can seek prayers of forgiveness, to cleanse my sins. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) says in the Qur’an: The Night of Decree is better than a thousand months. The angels and the Spirit descend therein by permission of their Lord for every matter. Peace it is until the emergence of dawn. [Qur’an: 97:3-5]. The blessed Laylatul Qadr can be found in any of the last 10 nights of Ramadan, which are the most blessed nights of the year. As such, we should increase our worship and devotion during this period.

The second target is to perform hajj, being the 5th pillar of Islam, obligatory to those who can afford. Due to a tight schedule of 10 days in both Medina and Mecca, my focus was not about the 2 cities. So, I'm writing this entry and the later entries in preparation for a second visit, by Allah's will and permission, I hope to visit this year, 1438 year of Hijrah. Please make dua for me...